Habits of Health Weekly Meeting
Together (with God) i Can
Know that the only thing that you can really change in this world is YOU.
Bring everything back to (i) and take responsibility. That is the first step.
We promote using the small (i) to suggest humility and not a capital (I) which can suggest or relate to EGO.
The philosophy begins when we start to acknowledge the (Pride) we live with, in our lives. We acknowledge that we try to accomplish things, by ourselves, with no one else's help or by taking advantage of others. (This could be called Living by Force) (Competition)
The “Together i Can” philosophy in the long run, ends in Humility – surrendering and learning to trust in the will of God and others to make our life one filled with peace, serenity and joy. (Co-Operation) (Living with Power)
This idea is from the Book: Power vs Force by David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph. D.
The only true we-ism in life is a connection to God. We are connected because He created us.
Once we surrender and allow God to become the pilot and we have demoted ourselves to co-pilot, our lives can start down the road of improvement / enlightenment.
However, it is not appropriate to say we (God and I) are going to do this, that or the other thing.
This is where “Together i Can” all starts: Together (with God) i can have serenity, joy, and peace abounding. God doesn’t need me to have peace and joy. He is peace and joy. I do need Him.
If we take this to the next step and know that God is working through us to his glory, we now have a purpose for our lives. This can fill that empty hole which many of us tried to fill using various worldly means, with no success. Our only responsibility is to establish a relationship with God. Once this has been accomplished, we must continue to allow the Holy Spirit to minister to us and work on our lives on a daily basis. Sometimes minute to minute.
God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things that I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.
The Wisdom to know when not to fight for something.
We must ask – God limits Himself to our asking. He will not violate us or force Himself on us.
God knows that things (objects) will never meet our inadequacies, nor will they cause us to be others-centered and enable us to give ourselves away.
Our Philosophy in a nutshell.
“We together can do, what alone I cannot”
“You can’t do it for me, but I can’t accomplish it myself”
It takes at least two ii’s to make a we
Without i’s, we’s wouldn’t exist.
Why do “we” things typically turn into “wee” things? Because one person does most of the work and everyone takes credit.
As Coaches: We act as mirrors, holding people accountable for their actions, not helping mask problems, or providing temporary fixes.
T.i.C. – Where Cooperation replaces competition
Universe – Uni – verse = one song – All the iiiii’s cooperating as ONE!
Turn on the light of your mind. Observe new ideas, new beliefs, new habits.
Together I Can Philosophy – What it is and why it originated.
My introduction to the concept of “Together I Can” initially came about while strategizing the implementation of a new contract. I was the V.P. of Customer Relations and attending a team board meeting.
The initial realization of the unfairness of “we-ness” came about initially from a “Boardroom” experience I was involved in.
My introduction to the concept of “we.”
The CEO laid out the requirements necessary to accomplish the task. Everyone concurred and accepted responsibility for their portion of the work that needed to be done.
Afterwards, “typical behavior” resumed almost immediately. The “doers” got to work and the “slackers” went back to their normal routines of late lunches, afternoons golfing, leaving work early.
When we met again a couple of months later for a review, what I heard, especially from the slackers, was, “Look what “we” accomplished.”
In this environment the “doers” ended up being doormats, being taken advantage of by the ‘slackers,” plus the fact that the slackers were not held accountable for their actions.
I concluded that by myself there was no way I could or would ever be able to accomplish the entire task, I recognized that it takes a team working together. However, with togetherness comes the demand for individual responsibility within the group. Hence the change from “Together we can” to “Together I can”, signifying that individual responsibility.
Sometime later I was on a run training for a marathon and reflected on that statement. “look what we’ve done.” To say the least I was offended. I decided then and there that I would take full responsibility for my future actions, while at the same time not letting others take credit for my efforts, for what they hadn’t done.
My understanding is that nothing happens in a vacuum. I fully comprehend that in the scheme of life I need others. However, if I allow others to do the dirty work and then I take the credit, as they did, I would be guilty of plagiarism. I would be taking advantage of and taking credit for the efforts of others.
It is my responsibility to acknowledge others, on the team, for their efforts.
When I do that then I can then say; Together (with Others) i Can.
As long as I allowed pride to control my life, it was likely that I would remain a doormat for others. Ego and Pride is what I describe by using a large “I”.
I decided that to make the shift away from being a doormat, I had to change. It is and was beyond my expectations to expect others to change.
I decided that I had to become a small “i” person. A small “i” person being one who acts out of humility. A person who takes responsibility for each and every task but does so with humility. With humbleness, I allow others to be themselves, no matter what the occasion.
If you want a job done fast, do it yourself. Want it done right, do it with others. Just don’t take credit for what you haven’t done.
USING THE TOGETHER I CAN PHILOSOPHY
As individuals “We become the average of the five people we hang around with the most.” - Jim Rohn
Doing things on our own and without help or assistance can become very difficult, tiring and lonely. With support (a likeminded group) life’s challenges are not quite so insurmountable.
Together (with liked minded people) i Can
I coined the phrase “together i can” and I believe that if we start that togetherness with a Higher Power, something that is greater than ourselves, then an unusual thing transpires. We can obtain comfort from that source, and we have a partner when the going gets rough.
In the book of Chronicles in the Old Testament, with all the “begats” we come across the name “Jabez,” which means pain. With a name like that, he needed a prayer.
The prayer of Jabez
God, I pray that You would bless me and bless me indeed. I pray that You would enlarge my territory. I pray that Your hand would be with me and that You would keep me from evil that I may not cause pain and the Bible says that “God granted him what he requested”. 1 Chronicles 4:9-10
Together (with God) i Can
I sincerely believe in the twelve-step program. A sponsor once told me to believe that there was a God, and I was not it. It was then that I was introduced to the serenity prayer. It goes:
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Those are the only two options, accept or change!
In order to change my actions, my beliefs / thoughts had to change. I am taught that thoughts are things and as you think, so you shall be.
Whatever I put the most focus on is what I will manifest.
Another way of saying that is: “what you sow, so shall you reap.” That is considered the Law of Attraction by the
This concept not only works for the good; but it also applies to the bad consequences we accumulate.
When you get right down to it: Think you can or think you can’t – you are going to be right either way. Henry Ford
Together i Can Philosophy is all about Taking Responsibility for Everything going on in your life.
We this - We that - leads to micro aggressions. If by chance I see things from a different point of view than the collective, the tribe, then in their minds I must be plotting against those who make up the “norm.”
We-ness forfeits our powers and gives it over to others. The end result is that others will dictate to us what to think and what to do.
We-ness gives the group, the ability to control us, via feelings of blame’ shame and sometimes guilt.
I’ve never heard anyone say, “Me and God, “we’re” going to do this or that.”
We never say; Me and God, “we’re” going to get sober, lose weight, or make a fortune. We can say, with God’s guidance and help I can gain sobriety.
When discussing “Together i Can” I use the small “i” to signify humbleness and humility and the large “I” to indicate self or ego.
As we grow up, we are taught tribal mentality and groupthink as a way to cope and get along.
A small “i” person doesn’t accept responsibility for what another individual is feeling or thinking. This is not condoning rudeness or abuse. However, because no one I know can read minds, it is impossible to go through life without offending someone!
The small “i” person knows that they can’t make or force anyone to feel anything. If someone wants to disagree, then that is their prerogative. What any person thinks, or feels is entirely up to them.
A small (i) person knows that each individual generates their own thoughts and feelings based on their backgrounds and beliefs. Each individual creates and generates their own feelings, determined by their upbringing -- what they have been taught while growing up.
If someone can be made to feel guilty, then that guilt can sometimes be used to manipulate that person into changing beliefs. It can even cause them to work against their own personal beliefs. A person will sometimes acquiesce in order to go along, to relieve the feelings of guilt.
Some beliefs may be false, and some beliefs may be true. It is up to us to discern the truth of what we believe. If we kowtow, bend our will, to what others believe, then we are truly giving up our authentic selves. We become like a rudderless ship, moving whichever way the tide of thought is moving.
“We” always connotes more than one, always a group.
Each group or tribe seems to have a general consensus of beliefs.
When individuals get together as a group there were always be a disparity amongst the talents exhibited and the beliefs held by each individual.
When individuals get together as a group there is a tendency for individuals to start comparing themselves with others. Judging so to speak.
A consistent human trait, one of tribalism – grouping, leads slackers to shed and shift responsibility to the doers.
In every group there will be doers, however, there will also be slackers! Doers seem to do, and slackers seem to sluff off every time. Later, when evaluations take place, everyone, including the slackers, takes credit.
When dealing with groups there are always those who will use blame and guilt for people who choose to be victims. A doer who feels used but does nothing about it can easily fall into the victim category.
During my younger years growing up, one of my uncles had a sheep ranch. I had the wonderful opportunity to stand in for a sheepherder while he was on vacation. What an experience. If one sheep becomes frightened and starts to move the entire flock will stampede along, following one another. A good sheep dog and sheepherder can prevent them from hurting themselves.
As I’ve aged, I have observed many people becoming like those sheep. They follow one another down dangerous paths without discernment. I have labeled those types of people “sheeples.”
Many people become Sheepels amongst the wolves. Because of their upbringing some people are easily brainwashed into group think. They typically end up doing more than what was delegated to them, thinking falsely that they will be rewarded for their efforts. However, those doers seldom get credit for the extra work.
In a group situation or with a large “I” person in charge – EGO, competition rules. With competition always comes the concept of “force.” In a group, responsibilities are delegated and disbursed. This is not always done in an equal fashion. When dealing with an individual with a large “I” (EGO), we are talking about an individual that typically has their own self interests at heart. They can become demanding / forceful when it involves the task to be accomplished.
A person assuming the small “i” identity is one who is ready to accept responsibility for everything going on in their lives. They are ones who know that without the assistance of others, that their lives would be unmanageable.
In a small “i” situation each individual assumes responsibility for the roles they are assigned. Once a person has accepted the TiC philosophy, if the assignments are in opposition to their truths, their beliefs, they stand up for themselves and voice that opposition.
When discussing a humble person (a small “i” individual) we are typically talking about an individual who has the service of others in mind, as well as accepting the help of others.
Just because a person becomes humble, it does not mean that they become door-mats for others or accept a victim status.
Developing humility and assuming responsibility is a goal of most individuals who desire to live a life of a small “i“.
The life of a small “i” individual takes us back to a time when one’s word, one’s commitment, and even a handshake was honored. It takes us back to a time when people walked their talk.
Working with-in a “WE“mentality, we find individuals choosing or only accepting responsibility for that portion that they “think“ should be theirs.
A large part of the “Together i Can” philosophy is to educate individuals on the importance of humility and what importance it plays in their life.
A person who has a closed mind, an Egotistical, large “I” person, a person who has all the answers, could be considered prideful and sometimes classified as arrogant, sometimes closed minded, which contributes to them becoming an ignorant individual.
A person who has an open mind, willing to listen to new concepts, knowledge, and ideas, might be known for their humility.
May you surrender and accept humility as part of your life and accept the “Together i Can” concept today!
Power vs Force
Power vs. Force – There are two different ways of looking at life and the methods involved in accomplishing tasks.
When the Self / Ego is involved, what gets accomplished can normally be associated with “force”.
On the other hand, allowing things to manifest of their own accord, in alignment with God’s will, might be considered using “Power”.
There are two, if not more paths to health. One is through creativity and being in alignment with God’s will, defined as using power, and the other is through competition, trying to achieve what you desire by self / ego, through self-will, which might be consider as using force.
The Power of God is unlimited – a source of good. That source is all powerful.
The power of man is limited. Man’s power is created by force and normally is exhibits itself through pride – the outcome can be seen as competition
(James 4:6) God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.
Some characteristics that may be considered as they apply to Large I and small i individuals.
Large I people use force to get things done
Small i people use power to get things done
Large I people consider themselves, king of the walk – walking and talking over others – using and abusing others to get things done.
Small i people understand that anything that gets accomplished is rarely accomplished via individual effort. They recruit others to join them on the journey of life, each using the gifts they were given, to assist others.
Large I people might be considered as being individualistic and separate.
Small i individuals become part of the community, understanding that all individuals are created equal, just given different gifts.
Large I individuals enjoy going it alone.
Small i people look for partners, coaches, mentors; they are always looking improve their lives, as well as others.
Large I individuals are more often closed-minded – do it my way type of people. They may be considered ignorant because they are poor listeners. They don’t allow change to enter into their lives.
Small i individuals are more open-minded -they are willing to listen, use discernment and find it easier to incorporate change in their lives.
A Small i person can easily become a doormat for a Large I person if they do not stand up for what they believe in.
On the other hand, if that small I person remains humble but strong there is no way anyone can take advantage of them.
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